


Hot Leaf Juice vs Hot Bean Juice

by Lone_Star_Ranger



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Halt loves coffee, Iroh (Avatar) loves Tea, No Plot, Random Encounters, just fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27516568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lone_Star_Ranger/pseuds/Lone_Star_Ranger
Summary: Iroh and Halt meet and settle in to discuss their favorite drinks.  That's it, that's the story.
Relationships: n/a
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35





	Hot Leaf Juice vs Hot Bean Juice

**Author's Note:**

> Ever get a crazy idea that makes you laugh? Yeah. That's what this is. Enjoy!

Iroh blinked at the three-sided red castle rising in the distance. This was a style of architecture that he hadn’t seen before. He walked along the forest road when a bandit leapt out with a dagger. 

“Hand over all your valuables, old man!”

“Whatever are you doing?”

“Robbing you!”

“With that stance?” Iroh knocked the bandit flat on his rump with a single blow. 

The bandit snarled as he jumped back up. “You’ll pay for that, old man!”

Iroh sent him tumbling back to the ground again with another simple motion. The bandit growled incoherently before snatching a horn off his belt. Blowing three sharp blasts, he smirked at Iroh. “This‘ll fix ya.”

Iroh breathed in and waited for the new arrivals. And waited…and waited…and watched the bandit’s blotchy face slowly get more and more red.

“Do you think you should blow the horn again, my friend? Perhaps they didn’t hear you.” 

“Oh, they heard. They just can’t answer.”

A voice with a slight trace of an unplaceable accent spoke and both the bandit and Iroh turned to see a cloaked and grey-bearded figure standing at the forest edge. The bandit’s red face went sheet white at the appearance of the figure. Iroh glanced at the bandit. “Perhaps our new friend will consider granting you mercy if you go to the local authorities and confess your crimes?”

The hooded figure inclined his head, “Perhaps.”

Iroh smiled at the grim figure. “Come now, confession is good for the soul. Let him unburden himself while we enjoy a nice cup of …”

“Coffee.” The figure nodded once decisively. Flicking his bow in the direction of town, he continued, “Go on, get out of here.”

The bandit started running and right as the trail turned, he slowed for half a second and glanced back, only to see an arrow slam into a tree next to him at eye level. Yelping in fear, he redoubled his pace and vanished from view.

Iroh blinked. The figure barely seemed to move, but suddenly was lowering his bow after launching an arrow with pinpoint accuracy.

The hooded figure spoke. “Name’s Halt. Follow me.”

After a pleasant walk through the woods, they emerged into a clearing with a small cabin. Halt gestured at it. “Not much, but it’s home. I’ll get the coffee on.” Iroh saw a nearby outside firepit as Halt walked inside. Lighting a quick fire, Iroh produced his teapot and began brewing.

Halt emerged a few minutes later with a coffee pot and blinked at Iroh, who gestured to the slightly steaming teacup next to him. “Tea with a stranger is one of life’s many delights, is it not?”

Halt shrugged. “Not much for talking.”

“Ah, you see, you need the proper setting for conversation. A low fire, tea, fresh air…” Iroh smiled at Halt, “These are essential for conversation.”

Halt snorted. “Spare me. The scent of this,” he said, holding up the coffee pot, “is divine while the energy boost it gives you will keep you going.”

Iroh glanced at the dark liquid in Halt’s cup as Halt liberally spooned honey into his cup. “I notice that you seek to mask the flavor by adding a sweet such as honey to your cup?”

“Enhance not mask.”

Iroh shrugged. “If you say so. I suppose one can enjoy their hot bean juice with enhancements rather than savor the uniqueness of the many different varieties of tea.” 

Halt snorted. “If I wanted to drink leaves, I can do that by boiling the leaves that fall on my deck.”

Iroh clutched his heart. “You wound me, Halt.”

Halt lifted his mug, “Comfort and familiarity.”

“Flavors taken from just one style and flavor soon become rigid and stale. Tea blends the elements together and unites the world.”

“Coffee keeps it going.”

The two men stared at each other before Iroh broke the silence, “Perhaps we need to appeal to an independent arbitrator.”

“Perhaps, but where?”

Iroh smiled. “Tell me, in all your travels and investigations, have you never come across the concept of an author? A figure who guides the outcome with their mind and manipulates the situation with their fingers.”

Halt nodded slowly. “I’ve heard.”

Iroh continued, “Authors live behind something known as the fourth wall, but if you can just break it properly…”

The scene shifted suddenly as the two figures looked up through the sky as it opened, revealing a young man tapping on a flat black surface. The author lifted an eyebrow, nodded his acknowledgement to Iroh and Halt, and held up his mug. Both Iroh and Halt eagerly awaited the author’s pronouncement and the author reveled in their shocked faces as he spoke two words.

“Hot Chocolate.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos always appreciated, hope you enjoyed this as much as I did! :D


End file.
